90 is the new 30, the frustrating numbers we believe

9 Oct

used car salesman and old lady

I heard it on TV!

40 is the new 20.

60 is the new 40.

Bull pucky!   If you believe that, maybe it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee, and while you’re at it, come to terms with the fact that you might be buying yellow bricks from a bunch of munchkins from Planet Oz.

Illusion is the new truth out there, my friends!

What’s real in my house is the troubling personal reality that 90 minutes has become the new 30 minutes and the end results are starting to suck big time since I’m working with what I have and not so much with what I need, or used to have, or think I ought to have.

I remember working like a son of a gun without ending the day with cascading waves of muscles cramps and insomnia.  I remember when a glass of white wine was all it took to unwind. But the fact that it takes 90 minutes for me to do what I used to do in 30 is a fact of life, and as distasteful as it seems, I live around it as I go about the comical but satisfying process of remaining true to myself.  This time-ability-experiential -shift hasn’t changed who I am; it’s only decreased my production levels requiring me to regularly adjust priorities.

Yesterday my dentist was trying to sell me on his idea of how to best care for my teeth, saying his plan would ensure dental happiness for the next 30 years.  I looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

“I have no plans to need teeth in 30 years”, I said, to which he replied, “You need to change the paradigm you use to see life.”

I have to hand it to him, it was a great line, but paying $10,000 for a couple of teeth isn’t going to impact anything except my wallet, and honest to goodness, I don’t want to see 95!

Years ago I made a deliberate choice to live my own way.  It wasn’t an easy decision to make. It turned my entire life upside down, and during the first year that followed, I sometimes wondered if the consequences of that choice weren’t signs that I’d lost my mind.  One the best (and worst) aspects of my personality is an over-developed sense of tenacity; I’m “in it” for the long haul no matter how long or short, how wicked or delightful the ride might be.

I lost friends.  I disappointed family.  I hung in.  I pushed on and here I am!

Happiness is fleeting and situational at best, so to say I’ve been happy ever since would be dishonest, but I have enormous inner peace and intermittent bursts of sudden, unexplained joy.

Eventually my family came around, but there is space between us that didn’t feel as if it was there before.  This was disappointing until I began to understand that life is not intended to remain constant.  The human condition is based on constant evolving change as we grow from single cells into complex beings of great potential.  We accept, we reject, and we settle or compromise.  We break free from the pack.  We stumble and fall.  We get up and try again, or lie face down in the dirt unwilling to gamble on the uncertainty of the unknown.  We grow large or we shrink.  We bend or we break. Some of us try to stay in the same place but the wind blows and the night sky dims our vision, and well known plains and valleys in the geography of our existence evolves around us, forcing our hand.

If we are true to our core selves, resisting social rhetoric and religious dogma, we win!  We get to rub Ben Gay on our swollen legs at night and drink warm milk or pop Tylenol PM in hopes of getting a decent night’s sleep.

We get to have good or bad dreams, and we get to remember or forget them when we wake in the morning.  We get to choose whether or not we want to watch the 5 o’clock news.  We get to decide if we eat sensibly or forgive ourselves for eating chocolate cake for dinner.

We get to keep inching along that long narrow ledge on the steepest side of the highest mountain, and it’s our choice whether or not we leap into the near-blue invisible arms of the sky or sit in place, watching the clouds swirl around us.  We can be kings and queens or the village idiot.  We can shut up, put up and hang on.  Or not.

 

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27 Responses to “90 is the new 30, the frustrating numbers we believe”

  1. Archita October 9, 2013 at 5:24 pm #

    Happiness is fleeting and situational at best- my take away from your wonderful post. 🙂 and I agree – Illusion is the new truth. 🙂 Take care 🙂

    • ittymac October 9, 2013 at 7:31 pm #

      You take care too, my friend.

  2. K.M. OSullivan October 9, 2013 at 5:44 pm #

    “life is not intended to remain constant” is my favorite line of this post and I think it applies no matter one’s age.

    • ittymac October 9, 2013 at 5:49 pm #

      Thanks for the thought, Kelly, I agree. Nice to see you in my neighborhood again.

  3. Gypsy October 10, 2013 at 8:03 am #

    “Illusion is the new truth.” Brilliant.

  4. wantonwordflirt October 10, 2013 at 12:21 pm #

    Bravo! I really loved this entire post filled with truth. You made my day.

    • ittymac October 10, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

      Thank you! I appreciate the feedback. 😊

  5. Claudia Anderson October 11, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

    You have said it all…and perfectly! I’m going to reblog this. Get us all on the same feisty page!

    • ittymac October 11, 2013 at 12:58 pm #

      It feels GREAT is get such enthusiastic support from a Goddess!

  6. Claudia Anderson October 11, 2013 at 12:47 pm #

    Reblogged this on Humoring the Goddess and commented:
    My friend Itty says it all. Let’s ALL get on the other side of feisty! Look out..here we come!

    • ittymac October 11, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

      Thanks for getting the word out! 😊

  7. hugmamma October 11, 2013 at 1:53 pm #

    My sentiments exactly! So glad Claudia directed me your way. 🙂

    • ittymac October 11, 2013 at 2:00 pm #

      Thanks for taking time to read and respond. I’m a Huge Fan of Claudia and her witty wisdom.

      • hugmamma October 11, 2013 at 2:39 pm #

        It’s nice to know there are others in the blogosphere who share the same perspective…and humor. 🙂

      • ittymac October 11, 2013 at 2:49 pm #

        I agree!

  8. ForgivingDreams October 21, 2013 at 9:03 am #

    As usual – insightful, entertaining, and brilliantly written. Thanks for sharing who you are.

    • ittymac October 21, 2013 at 8:55 pm #

      Thanks for the encouragement… 😊 … And support!

  9. theempathyqueen October 21, 2013 at 9:03 am #

    I could not find the place to hit Like, but a comment is more heartwarming, just as your posts are. Insightful, observant, stories of self esteem and self respect.

    • ittymac October 21, 2013 at 8:53 pm #

      Thank you for your kind words. 😊

  10. theempathyqueen October 27, 2013 at 7:09 am #

    BRAVA!!!!!!!!!

  11. April October 27, 2013 at 9:16 am #

    I love your post, and I love your feisty-ness too. I’m also a “determined” one, however I am fighting for the new 30! I’m banking on another 50 years. I lost a brother and a sister who were 51 at the time of their deaths.

    At 51, I was diagnosed with cancer. I now live in six month increments, but I am fighting to live the best six months at a time that I can. I stretch and exercise so that I can keep moving. I have changed my diet so that I don’t feel like crap, but I haven’t denied myself my guilty pleasures either.

    I have learned to live life on my terms, not based upon what others expect me to do, but I’m buying bricks for my yellow brick road. 🙂

    Ten years from now, I may change my mind, but for now….I’m going to keep striving to control what I can, to be as strong as I can—until I die.

    • ittymac October 27, 2013 at 10:07 am #

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. I am moved by your insightfulness and look forward to following your journey. itty

  12. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist October 27, 2013 at 3:53 pm #

    I live in a world where all the people around me live in a world of unreality. My 85 year old mother, for example, hardly able to walk on a walker exclaims when overhearing me check if there is disabled access “Who’s disabled?” and then horrified when I tell her it’s her. It is great to hear the reality which is also my reality. I am going to reblog this. Thanks for the post.

  13. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist October 27, 2013 at 3:54 pm #

    Reblogged this on Reflections and Nightmares- Irene A Waters (writer and memoirist) and commented:
    I live in a world where all the people around me live in a world of unreality. My 85 year old mother, for example, hardly able to walk on a walker exclaims when overhearing me check if there is disabled access “Who’s disabled?” and then horrified when I tell her it’s her. It is great to hear the reality which is also my reality.

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  1. 90 is the new 30, the frustrating numbers we believe | theempathyqueen - October 27, 2013

    […] 90 is the new 30, the frustrating numbers we believe. […]

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