Naked Truth

20 Feb

Transparency is a popular word these days.  Along with buzz words like the War Against Women and Wage Inequality, transparency vies for a place of its own in competitive environments of media/politico/socio/economic Halls of Fame, pushing its agenda across a multitude of venues that are either frothing in glee or utter disdain at a seemingly never ending chain of bad human behavior.

The public need for vengeance and humiliation appears to have exploded like a watermelon packed with explosives as we sit mesmerized in our living rooms, or travel from place to place in the soft glow of cell phones, laptops, tablets and notebooks, or as we churn and steam over dinner plates prepared and consumed in front of television sets primed with intentionally choreographed entertain-o-news intended to evoke divisive rage.

In this kind of environment a transparency movement is inevitable, I believe, because something or someone must at least pretend to understand the plight of the little guys with their feelings of being misunderstood, maligned, oppressed, and dismissed.  Thus the transparency movement began calling out bigger boys like corporate greed, unemployment realities, the high and mighty1%; it began challenging assertions that America is a nation of takers, and that piss-poor- trickle-down economic policies will ultimately work.

Encouraged, transparency enthusiasts shifted gears until their tactics began to blur.  Soon it was impossible to distinguish one political machine from the other, and for simplicity’s sake, let’s just say two camps battle on, each raving over a litany of ill-will subjects such as Wall Street, political corruption, the Koch brothers, and a frightening epidemic of self-righteous foot in mouth diseased fools blubbering on and on about anything vaguely reproductive. Eventually, the pure idea turned into a loud, sometimes whiney movement nobly begun, dissolved in business as usual.

In spite of a resilient supply of pro-transparency advocates, the concept itself is not a well-practiced one.  It’s fairly obvious why politicians, bureaucrats, big money and traditional mass media shy away from exposing the truths of their deep pocket roots, but on one level or another, in spite of, or perhaps because of intensifying and intrusive traffic along social media highways, ordinary folks are beginning to take cover too.

We’re beginning to learn that there is a price to be paid for speaking up.  There is also the arrogant temptation that one’s strong personally-held opinions are so powerfully right-on that they should erase those of others who are equally sure they hold the key to what ails a nation.  There is the covert open door into our lives from sneaky powers that be.  There is the possibility that we’re never actually talking to the person we think we are.  There is a smoldering population of people waiting in fear or anger for a piece of ‘justice’.

All of this brings me to the point I’m trying to make: I have always struggled with the dichotomy of personal disclosure.  Is it better for the soul and the psyche to ‘put it all out there’, or will details and personal histories actually effect real change? And why should I believe my perceptions and philosophies might serve others as well as they have served me? And even if they do, who cares?

Even as I wrestle with the question, a grass root movement to drop off the grid and return to the privacy of the cave has begun.  New pioneers are stepping backward in time in monumental efforts to move forward.  Personally, I can relate to the voices that drive the wild herd deeper into the forests and mountains of anonymity.

It’s all a process.

I come from a long line of well-trained secret-keepers; breaking the habit is hard and painful.  It’s not so much that I love a happy ending, but more that I need one. On a personal level these past four years have been excruciating.  A long time ago I quit believing ‘everything is as it should be’ in spite of the fact that I’ve lost several New Age-y friends as a consequence. I remain steadfast, however, in my belief that there is something to be learned from each and every bit of bounty and crap that touches my life.  One might think I would be a master of wisdom by now, that in deed, we all would, but instead I find myself wrestling more and more every day with the demons of change and passing time.

I’ve chosen which side of transparency best suits me understanding that honoring that choice has cost me the warm, fluffy comfort of the old Pollyanna spirit that used to buffer and keep me safe from the great abyss.

In the past I’ve tempered each word with sugar and hope.  Not anymore.  Not now.  I’ve drawn a new line in the sand of the battlefields in my mind, and I’ve crossed.  It doesn’t matter who the hell I am, I have an opinion, and I refuse to stay captive to traditional boxes in spite of implied or absolute threats.

No magic parachutes or making nice anymore, my friends.  No spin, no bubbles, no unicorns or canned sappy endings.  All that remains in my hands after the blood has spilled through these fingers is the terrible, powerful girth and weight of my own true words.

 viking power 8 great



8 Responses to “Naked Truth”

  1. Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist February 20, 2014 at 5:55 pm #

    Welcome to your new world. Will enjoy hearing more of your opinions.

    • ittymac February 20, 2014 at 6:50 pm #

      It really is a new world for me. I often wonder why it takes great adversity to get me moving. I must be a tough nut to crack.

      • Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist February 20, 2014 at 7:01 pm #

        I think that is often the case for many of us. Without adversity we can just be complacent and change/do little.

      • ittymac February 20, 2014 at 7:05 pm #

        You’re right. I love coasting but you can’t really grow there.

  2. Claudia Anderson February 20, 2014 at 9:37 pm #

    I think what saves us from burying ourselves back in the recesses of the cave is that we need the sunlight for strength and protection, too. This is a rough blog, itty — something I haven’t heard from you in a while. Strong background emotions purge themselves in wonderfully written blogs like this. I don’t believe in transparency, because all that’s behind that clean, sparkling pane of glass is either another wall, beautiful sunsets, crashed cars, or a myriad of the confusion of life. You don’t have to do all/tell all. Let some movie star do it. Know who you are, what you can take, and what you can’t. Don’t apologize for what you can’t. Share what you can. The shadows will always be there, but know they are nothing more than shadows now. You are here, you are strong and magical and the hell with what anyone else thinks.

    • ittymac February 20, 2014 at 9:52 pm #

      Thank you girlfriend. You’re right, there’s a great deal of emotion behind my words this time. Subsequent blogs will shed a little light. I’m midway through a significant life passage that is taking everything I have. Today’s my first day back on the internet and I’ve much catching up to do reading my favorite blogs. Give me a day or two and I’ll get there. Thanks for your encouraging words; you hit dead center on the target again!

  3. 2ndhalfolife February 22, 2014 at 7:45 pm #

    This had been my world forever! Me and my big mouth my whole darn life. When I was in third grade and teacher hit me on the head with a book and called me a chatterbox. I’ve never shut up. “Most inclined to argue” and “class clown” in High School….tee hee. Hey join the best club in the world woman! Stand strong, arms open, kiss your hand to the moon and howl at the stars! I’m right there beside you! xxoo

    • ittymac February 22, 2014 at 8:07 pm #

      There’s freedom in crossing impolite lines. I’ve done it with my poetry for years. Right now my emotions are like loaded warheads in my chest and they must be let out.

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